A few months before Chris and I were married, I joined her family for Christmas. That was when she introduced me to “visiting season” — the days between Christmas morning and New Year’s, spent going from one set of relatives to another.
We did not have this tradition in my family. Our relatives lived too far away.
Chris and I have been married for over 40 years now, and even though we live most of the time in Australia, I have experienced visiting season enough to know both the joys and the tensions.
It is easy to keep the conversation light and casual—catching up on the news since we last visited. And that is important. But how do we move beyond that into meaningful and spiritual conversation? These visits are seldom the right moment for a full Gospel presentation, but they can be the right moment to “tap the fruit”—to see whether God may already be stirring something.
I find I do better if I have prepared a few questions in advance in each of four categories: casual, meaningful, spiritual, and Jesus-centred.
Planning questions can feel contrived, but think about how much effort goes into preparing food for guests. If we put that much thought into the food, we can put a little thought into the questions we ask—because questions often open the door to real conversation.
Here is a simple idea: write one or two questions on a 3x5 card and put it in your pocket. You may never pull it out, but having a question ready can help move a conversation from casual to meaningful—naturally, without forcing anything.
Bob Thiede is a master at asking questions. I picked these up from his website, leadingwithquestions.com/blog:
- As a child, what was your most favourite Christmas gift that you received?
- What was your most memorable Christmas ever? What made it so memorable?
- As a child, what were your family’s Christmas traditions?
- What foods do you associate with Christmas?
- What part did the birth of Jesus play in your family’s celebration?
If I was visiting Chris’s relatives this year, I might ask:
- What has been the hardest part of this year for you?
- What has brought you the most joy lately?
- What is your favourite part of the Christmas story? Why?
- What stood out to you at the Christmas play last week?
- I would like to hear more about your spiritual journey and who has helped you learn more about God. Would you be interested in getting together for coffee sometime before I leave town to talk about that?
Over the holidays, trust that God is present in your conversations. Your role is simply to ask well, listen well, and take the next small step.
P.S. Who do you think would be encouraged by this email? Forward it to them and let them know they can walk alongside experienced cross-cultural evangelists by visiting: https://hereslife.com/encouragement