Last week I hosted four webinars on how to talk with friends who don't believe in God.
Here is a summary of the key points.
1) Start with Prayer
We can’t argue someone into faith; only God brings people to life. That’s why prayer is the starting point. Pray for friends by name, and when appropriate, offer to pray with them. God often uses answered prayer to awaken curiosity.
2) Listen Well and Ask Good Questions
Christians are sometimes known for talking more than listening. Aim for a gentle progression in conversations:
- Casual: everyday life, work, weather, sport.
- Meaningful: family, values, pressures, hopes.
- Spiritual: “Do you feel closer or further from God these days?”
- Jesus: who He is, what He taught, and what He means to you.
Often, a few thoughtful questions and genuine listening will open long, honest conversations.
3) Stories That Teach
Chad’s Door Opens a Little
For many years, Chad was not interested at all in talking about God. But now, because of changes in his health, he’s showing openness
Jennifer’s Sleepless Nights
Jennifer* once told her neighbor Tim, “I don’t want to hear about God.” He respected her choice. Years later, during a season of insomnia, she mentioned it to Tim. He said that when he struggles to sleep, he prays to God. Jennifer left in disgust. But one night, when she couldn’t sleep, she was so desperate she googled “prayer” and found the Lord’s Prayer. From then on, each time she couldn’t sleep, she prayed the Lord’s Prayer — and fell asleep. That led her to start reading the Bible and eventually to come to faith in Jesus. What was once unthinkable became possible.
*Name changed.
Philip and the Ethiopian (Acts 8)
A seeker travels far, reads Scripture, and can’t make sense of it until God sends someone to help him see how it points to Jesus. It’s a gentle story that invites friends to consider whether they’d like help on their own spiritual journey.
4) Common Barriers to Faith
- Habits or relationships they fear they would need to give up.
- Hurt caused by Christians or the church.
- Distrust, fear about the future, or a “live only for now” outlook.
It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict; our job is to love, listen, serve, and bear witness.
5) What We Can Always Do
- Love: let our tone reflect kindness, not anger.
- Pray: intercede faithfully for people by name.
- Care: meet practical needs, even when inconvenient.
- Share: tell what we have seen and heard Jesus do in our lives.
6) Share Your Story (Not Opinions)
Arguments rarely transform; authentic testimony often does. Be honest about successes and failures. Like the man born blind said, “One thing I know: I was blind, but now I see.”
When we start a statement with "I believe" we are asking for a fight. The disciples shared what they had seen and heard. We should do the same.
7) Trust God with the Outcome
Even Jesus wasn’t always accepted (e.g., the rich young ruler). Our call is faithfulness: respond to God’s love, keep praying, care practically, and share what God is doing in us.
A Note from the Q&A
Many who came to the webinar were especially concerned about friends who have walked away from faith and no longer believe in God. Do you have any ideas that have helped you love and walk with friends in that situation? Please reply with your suggestions so we can learn from one another.
How You Can Pray
- Ask God to open doors and soften hearts among our friends and family.
- Pray for courage to listen well, ask wise questions, and speak gently of Jesus.
- Pray for timely opportunities to serve practical needs.
- Pray that our lives would clearly display the difference Jesus makes.
Thank you for serving, praying, and loving people toward Jesus—one conversation at a time.